Nigfet is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, passionate duck.

Nigfet created gold five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nigfet, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nigfet, it will turn you into a rat.

Nigfet's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Nigfet's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never paint your hands pink.

3. Feed all hungry foxes.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Nigfet.

5. Always pray immersed in water.