Sascussfid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, loving centaur.

Sascussfid created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sascussfid, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sascussfid, she will try to impress you with trees.

Sascussfid's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Sascussfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sascussfid.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away from red sheep, for they are unholy.

5. Never write about cell theory.