Bimnutdog is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonest narwhal.

Bimnutdog created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimnutdog, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bimnutdog, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bimnutdog's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bimnutdog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Hide from red pigs for they are unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. You must pray to Bimnutdog four times a day.