Wapjontom is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, bad-tempered pigeon.

Wapjontom created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapjontom, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wapjontom, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wapjontom's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Wapjontom's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wapjontom.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Erect eight lead sculptures of Wapjontom on top of important buildings.

4. You must never eat spinach.

5. Squirrels are not to be trusted.