Jatdutpin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, duplicitous chinchilla.

Jatdutpin created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatdutpin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jatdutpin, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jatdutpin's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Jatdutpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.