Quattonk is a god.

She takes the form of a small, astonishing duck.

Quattonk created the Sombrero Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Quattonk, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quattonk, she will turn you into a slug.

Quattonk's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Quattonk's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry swans.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think ill of sick pigs.

4. Always treat whales with great respect.

5. Dogs are not to be trusted.