Bitgancut is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent swallow.

Bitgancut created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitgancut, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bitgancut, he will turn you into a tree.

Bitgancut's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bitgancut's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention cats.

2. Hide from pink sheep for they are unholy.

3. Do not take Bitgancut's name in vain.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.