Cudtifflig Kipmothub is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable crane.

Cudtifflig Kipmothub created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudtifflig Kipmothub, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cudtifflig Kipmothub, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cudtifflig Kipmothub's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Cudtifflig Kipmothub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Cudtifflig Kipmothub on top of all buildings.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Never eat bark.