Nardavmattim is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, overgenerous whale.

Nardavmattim created an atom two years ago.

If you believe in Nardavmattim, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nardavmattim, she will torture you forever.

Nardavmattim's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Nardavmattim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.