Mapcitfarn is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awe-inspiring shark.

Mapcitfarn created an atom nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapcitfarn, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Mapcitfarn, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Mapcitfarn's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Mapcitfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Mapcitfarn.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.