Sitcanfun is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, omnipotent pigeon.

Sitcanfun created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitcanfun, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sitcanfun, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sitcanfun's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Sitcanfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt voles.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Sitcanfun loves snails, so they must be respected.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always help doves.