Nilcatgandap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, blissful turtle.

Nilcatgandap created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilcatgandap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nilcatgandap, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nilcatgandap's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nilcatgandap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.