Babstigbam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless otter.

Babstigbam created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Babstigbam, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Babstigbam, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Babstigbam's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Babstigbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snakes.

2. Always wear white.

3. Never eat garlic.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.