Cubappmipcatvegarmhubren is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, impressive narwhal.

Cubappmipcatvegarmhubren created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Cubappmipcatvegarmhubren, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cubappmipcatvegarmhubren, it will turn you into a mouse.

Cubappmipcatvegarmhubren's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cubappmipcatvegarmhubren's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ants.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always help sick birds.