Kanzimbat Quagtalnak is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, contented rat.

Kanzimbat Quagtalnak created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanzimbat Quagtalnak, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kanzimbat Quagtalnak, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kanzimbat Quagtalnak's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Kanzimbat Quagtalnak's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kanzimbat Quagtalnak.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not commit murder.