Flygenteen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing lobster.

Flygenteen created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flygenteen, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flygenteen, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Flygenteen's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Flygenteen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven squirrels approach from the west.

2. Never talk about turtles.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always treat ducks with great respect.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.