Batfomqueeglid is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciless rat.

Batfomqueeglid created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batfomqueeglid, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Batfomqueeglid, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Batfomqueeglid's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Batfomqueeglid's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. You must never eat coconuts.

5. Run away if nine grasshopers approach from the north.