Nigragrag Witcanquat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, vain weasel.

Nigragrag Witcanquat created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nigragrag Witcanquat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nigragrag Witcanquat, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nigragrag Witcanquat's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Nigragrag Witcanquat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help mites.

4. Never go into cyan rooms.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.