Fetbagjarngod is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, sage cat.

Fetbagjarngod created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetbagjarngod, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fetbagjarngod, it will come to you in dreams.

Fetbagjarngod's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Fetbagjarngod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue ants, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Do not kill bats.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about whales.