Mumsatpomarnjamcem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish goblin.

Mumsatpomarnjamcem created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumsatpomarnjamcem, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mumsatpomarnjamcem, she will turn you into a hamster.

Mumsatpomarnjamcem's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Mumsatpomarnjamcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Mumsatpomarnjamcem on top of all buildings.

3. Do not eat tomatoes.

4. Worship no other gods but Mumsatpomarnjamcem.

5. Mumsatpomarnjamcem loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.