Bumbencar is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, moody rhinoceros.

Bumbencar created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumbencar, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bumbencar, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Bumbencar's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Bumbencar's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine turtles approach from the south.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never feed strawberries to nematodes while wearing yellow kilts.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bumbencar.