Wonfempog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest raccoon.

Wonfempog created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wonfempog, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wonfempog, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Wonfempog's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Wonfempog's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Wonfempog on top of all buildings.

2. Always help swans in need.

3. Run away from turquoise sharks, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Never write about cell theory.