Kaddussdud is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish bee.

Kaddussdud created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaddussdud, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kaddussdud, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kaddussdud's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Kaddussdud's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven turtles approach from the west.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must pray to Kaddussdud six times a day.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.