Bunpitfarjatlooplophudvil is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, temperamental zebra.

Bunpitfarjatlooplophudvil created water three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bunpitfarjatlooplophudvil, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bunpitfarjatlooplophudvil, he will throw large rocks at you.

Bunpitfarjatlooplophudvil's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Bunpitfarjatlooplophudvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never mention foxes.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always obey Bunpitfarjatlooplophudvil's priests.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.