Jonkinlen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, sapient zebra.

Jonkinlen created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonkinlen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jonkinlen, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jonkinlen's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Jonkinlen's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not make images of living things.