Tabkinyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty seal.

Tabkinyarp created the Sunflower Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabkinyarp, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tabkinyarp, he will remove you from existence.

Tabkinyarp's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tabkinyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Always help sick gulls.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.