Tikbarnfud is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, stupid coyote.

Tikbarnfud created everything that exists three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikbarnfud, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tikbarnfud, it will turn you into a tree.

Tikbarnfud's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Tikbarnfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about asteroids.