Fenzengof is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain swallow.

Fenzengof created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenzengof, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fenzengof, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fenzengof's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Fenzengof's Holy Commandments

1. Fenzengof loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about cell theory.