Fagfittit is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, sage goblin.

Fagfittit created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagfittit, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fagfittit, she will send you a sign.

Fagfittit's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Fagfittit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown turtles for they are unholy.

2. Never eat gooseberries.

3. Voles are not to be trusted.

4. Never run in the presence of snakes.

5. You must love Fagfittit.