Mipfarncum is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, smart seal.

Mipfarncum created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Mipfarncum, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mipfarncum, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Mipfarncum's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Mipfarncum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not take Mipfarncum's name in vain.

5. Never write about moons.