Gigstragbegrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, tiresome bat.

Gigstragbegrutt created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigstragbegrutt, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gigstragbegrutt, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Gigstragbegrutt's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Gigstragbegrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Gigstragbegrutt loves manatees, so they must be respected.

3. Hide from indigo snakes for they are unholy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.