Cissinwee is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, charitable bat.

Cissinwee created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cissinwee, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cissinwee, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cissinwee's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Cissinwee's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six nickel sculptures of Cissinwee on top of important buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.