Bastmoncad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, stupid unicorn.

Bastmoncad created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bastmoncad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bastmoncad, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Bastmoncad's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bastmoncad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Hide if three snails approach from the south.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Bastmoncad on top of all buildings.

5. You must love Bastmoncad.