Zimzedhak is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, effective meerkat.

Zimzedhak created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimzedhak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zimzedhak, he will curse you with boils.

Zimzedhak's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Zimzedhak's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry bats.

2. Run away if five voles approach from the west.

3. Zimzedhak loves foxes, so they must be respected.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Run away from yellow squirrels, for they are unholy.