Habbetcen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unselfish chinchilla.

Habbetcen created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habbetcen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Habbetcen, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Habbetcen's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Habbetcen's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Habbetcen loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Feed all hungry foxes.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.