Timdumvennadtigquartsas is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish fox.

Timdumvennadtigquartsas created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Timdumvennadtigquartsas, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Timdumvennadtigquartsas, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Timdumvennadtigquartsas' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Timdumvennadtigquartsas' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Timdumvennadtigquartsas nine times a day.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not make images of living things.