Zakjarnhog is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, omniscient seal.

Zakjarnhog created the Sol system two years ago.

If you believe in Zakjarnhog, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zakjarnhog, it will turn you into a hamster.

Zakjarnhog's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Zakjarnhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.