Dimdog is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, humorless newt.

Dimdog created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimdog, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dimdog, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Dimdog's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Dimdog's Holy Commandments

1. Dimdog loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.