Yarmettip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unsympathetic octopus.

Yarmettip created Asia five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarmettip, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarmettip, she will destroy your favourite star.

Yarmettip's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Yarmettip's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of whales.

2. Erect five titanium sculptures of Yarmettip on top of important buildings.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not commit murder.