Hitlistpig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, moody dryad.

Hitlistpig created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitlistpig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hitlistpig, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hitlistpig's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hitlistpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.