Gutmidpon is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, smart deer.

Gutmidpon created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutmidpon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gutmidpon, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gutmidpon's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Gutmidpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gutmidpon.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Gutmidpon loves bats, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.