Botpanpom is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, egotistical mink.

Botpanpom created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Botpanpom, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Botpanpom, he will turn you into a snail.

Botpanpom's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Botpanpom's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are not to be trusted.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not eat bread.