Gamappdum is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, ill-tempered rat.

Gamappdum created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamappdum, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gamappdum, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gamappdum's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Gamappdum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Gamappdum must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.