Dutgodwee is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, clever wyrm.

Dutgodwee created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutgodwee, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dutgodwee, it will remove you from existence.

Dutgodwee's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Dutgodwee's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Always look after injured doves.

5. Never wear jumpers.