Ortbetgodbetvagzoghudyok is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful fish.

Ortbetgodbetvagzoghudyok created parasitic wasps five million years ago.

If you believe in Ortbetgodbetvagzoghudyok, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortbetgodbetvagzoghudyok, she will turn you into a tree.

Ortbetgodbetvagzoghudyok's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Ortbetgodbetvagzoghudyok's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise sharks for they are unholy.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Feed all hungry ducks.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.