Stanruttquimgenzedcissmidnarl is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, tranquil duck.

Stanruttquimgenzedcissmidnarl created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanruttquimgenzedcissmidnarl, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stanruttquimgenzedcissmidnarl, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stanruttquimgenzedcissmidnarl's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Stanruttquimgenzedcissmidnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Always help sick badgers.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Hide from mauve mites for they are unholy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.