Riphamhan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, kind elephant.

Riphamhan created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Riphamhan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Riphamhan, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Riphamhan's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Riphamhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sharks.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never think ill of sick turtles.

5. Never think about planets.