Vannarlyog is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, benevolent mouse.

Vannarlyog created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vannarlyog, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vannarlyog, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Vannarlyog's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vannarlyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Never feed garlic to ducks while wearing white corsets.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vannarlyog.

5. Always obey Vannarlyog's priests.