Zaktipfub is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, humane frog.

Zaktipfub created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zaktipfub, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zaktipfub, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zaktipfub's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Zaktipfub's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat bats with great respect.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.