Tarpfutcimyokgunkimgil is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unfair finch.

Tarpfutcimyokgunkimgil created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfutcimyokgunkimgil, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tarpfutcimyokgunkimgil, she will turn you into a mole.

Tarpfutcimyokgunkimgil's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Tarpfutcimyokgunkimgil's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about dolphins.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Run away from blue porpoises, for they are unholy.

5. Great tits are not to be trusted.